Friday, 10 January 2014

After Weigh in

As promised I'm here to update you on the disaster that was this morning's weigh in. I had put back on the weight I'd lost.. and some.. so now I'm at another all time highest point. I'm so fed up with yo-yo-ing up and down that I really need to focus on losing weight. I've asked my husband to help me with this so hopefully between us we can fight the flab. 

I've also printed off some 30 day challenges that are likely to last more than 30 days. I did day 1 today and discovered I can't do a signal sit up let alone 15, so I muddled through and tomorrow I'll try to do it again.. and will keep trying until I succeed. 

Gary has taken decided to join in with this also so we should be able to motivate each and keep mentally stronger. He wants to start the C25K again but I'm not sure whether I'm ready for that yet. I'd like to run again but I'm also worried about how far I've fallen and don't want to feel worse about myself by failing at that as well. Maybe once I've lost a little weight and got that started I can start working on other things. I'm not sure. 

I'm also wondering about digging out my fitness dvd again. It doesn't work very well in this small living room so I've been leaving it till we move. I think I'll give it a few more weeks and see whether we're closer to moving before I unpack boxes to find my gear. 

I asked Gary to take the marshmallows and cake to work so I couldn't eat them. Temptation has gone away so that helps but I just need to keep myself focused and say no. This week will be tough because we're going away for a few days and I don't want to ruin the diet so I'll have to stay focused on meals out as well. 400 calories is my goal (per meal). 

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Today...

Today I just feel like a failure.. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I know that tomorrow the scales are going to show a gain again and I just feel useless. I can't seem to stick at this and I do really really want to lose the weight, just things keep happening. I need to learn to stick at it through the tough times and tell myself it's worth it to miss out. 

This week both me and Gary felt unwell. With a sore throat comes ice cream and chocolate.. this quickly leads to dominos and then you just what's the point?! I had an order for custard tarts this week and made too many so they needed to be eaten and then I had left over egg whites so I made angel cake, which whilst it's healthier, I wouldn't call it healthy. I just seem to have one thing after another and now I just feel awful. I know that tomorrow is another day and I can make the change now but that doesn't change the effect right now. 

The diet is good but it's quite hard work and we're spending a lot more than usual on food. I have signed up for 6 months and for that time I will continue to try to stick to it but I'm going to have to do a lot better than I am currently. Some of the meals are uninspiring and I'm finding that I'm having to swap out quite a lot to make meals we're happy with. We are trying new things but nothing stands out as being a good dish yet. 

So I need to develop some mental strength, someone which I'm all out of right now. I'm mentally exhausted from the last year plus some and I just want things to be easy, which they never are. When I'm tired and stressed I just want to eat, now I really need to not eat because I'm already large enough. When I think of what I look and feel like right now.. well I feel awful. I feel self conscious in everything I own and I don't want people looking at me. I need to lose this weight and I need to lose it now. 

So from now we are starting afresh. I will be stronger and I will say no. I've got to. I've had enough of feeling and looking the way I do. 

I'll try and pluck up the courage to come and tell you how much I've gained this week but no promises. Hopefully next week I'll feel much more positive about what's to come. 

Sunday, 29 December 2013

Week 4

Another week has passed as so has the weekly weigh in. We didn't really stick with the diet this week due to Christmas and therefore all the family gatherings. I decided that, whilst I wasn't going to pig out, I also wasn't going to worry too much about how I ate and try and enjoy the week.

Unfortunately this has resulted in some very bad news with my weigh in and I'm worse off than when I started. At least I don't have this weight to lose in addition to previous weight but it's still rather demotivating. After the weigh in we had no more gatherings planned so we have started back on the diet in earnest.

Because of the additional weight gained I'm now allowed 1600 calories a day again where it had dropped down to 1500. This usually relates to an extra piece of toast but every little helps. I hope that seeing the scales drop next Friday will motivate me again and help kick me in the right direction. I have 4 stone to lose and I would like to lose the first one by the end of January, may not be realistic now but definitely by the end of February.

I still have a target date of mid August where I would ideally like to have lost it all, however, at this stage I think I would be moderately ok with having lost 3 out of 4 stone.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

The Start of Week 3

Today is the start of week 3 and I'm not feeling very motivated. My weigh in this week only showed a loss of .75lb despite being fairly good. This week we've had so many meals out and naughty treats that I'm not thinking this weigh is going to be any better.

Friday was Gary's Christmas party so we had a 3 course meal there and a full cooked breakfast. I wanted to enjoy myself but at the same time in moderation. We also went out for a meal on Sunday and there wasn't anything healthy on the menu so I had gammon and chips. I had a small piece of cake too. I've also been making some cake for Gary's work so I've eaten some flapjack to test it.

In addition to this I've been struggling because I haven't been feeling great. I've recently been put on some news medication and I'm worried that this will make me put on weight. I'm struggling to get used to the effects of this and staying on track.

So today we start the meal plan for week 3 and we need to stick with it. I haven't got anything else going on this week, until Tuesday, so I have a week to focus on eating the right foods and getting back into the swing of things. So here's hoping that Friday's weigh in slightly more positive if I stick to it from today until Friday. I have a target of 1lb this week.

Thursday, 12 December 2013

It's almost weigh in 2!!

Tomorrow is my second weigh in and as is usual I'm very nervous about the result. It'll be just under a week since my last weigh in but in that week I've had a few looks at the scales and they've been all over the place. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow but for now I'm trying not to focus on it and just get through today.

This week I've had a couple of cakes to bake for people. I've been quite good and resisted the temptation to eat loads, I've had a few nibbles but nothing substantial. However, today I'm really struggling. I didn't like my breakfast and I wasn't overly keen on my lunch. I'm really tired and so hungry and my darling daughter is demanding attention today. Days like today I'd usually get a chocolate or sweet fix but today I not allowed. I will not stray from my diet plan and I will be strong. I may have to resort to having a hot chocolate, but I will try not to because that's too tempting to make really naughty too.

What do you do on days like this? I'm counting down the hours until dinner but that doesn't look great from the recipe either. Tomorrow night we are going to Gary's work do and I'm so looking forward to having some chocolate dessert and some naughty food. I'm going to try and be good for breakfast on Saturday but not too good as this is a treat and I want to enjoy it.

So tomorrow I'll update you on my weight and today I'll continue ploughing on. Avoid the kitchen and focus on getting through the afternoon. Come on we can do this!!

Monday, 9 December 2013

Me too

I am the second test subject to be placed on this diet. I am happy to say that so far it has been working. Well I am eating the recommended food (for my wife) and I am losing weight. To be expected as the calories going in are significantly less than the calories going out. 

To be fair to the diet the food portions are a decent size and the set up does help you as it is very easy to follow, even if trying to get all the food in the fridge is a struggle. I am still getting quite hungry in patches during the week but I know that if I stick to it I am going to lose weight. 

I also suffer from longevity, I tend to start the diet well but I then gorge myself when I come off the diet (even though I have not lost enough) and quickly put it all back on. 

6lbs in the first 6 days, so far so good. 

Saturday, 7 December 2013

Weigh In has arrived.. Week 1!!

I decided to set my first weigh in for the Saturday after I started my diet, having started it on Tuesday. I approached this morning with great nerves. I had set my target loss at 1lb, I just wanted to get started on the weight loss and keep myself motivated. I had stuck to the diet all week and been very determined to have no snacks and really stick with it.

I will usually do my weigh ins on Friday but this week, as I wasn't home, I moved it to Saturday. So I woke up this morning and stepped on the scales. 4lb loss!! I was so pleased with this and it has really motivated me for the coming weeks. My target dates have now skipped forwards a few weeks and apparently I should be on my first stepping stone by early January. This is a big stone for me because it's a stone loss and it'll be the lowest I've got since having my daughter.

So we now have the meal plan for the coming week and have carefully gone through the plans and chosen our meals. Shopping is order and the motivation is high. We have a few more days to finish up this week and then the next week starts. Next weigh in will be next Friday and this week I'm aiming for a 1.5lb weight loss. Come on bulge, shift yourself!!